I’d Rather Get To Know You In Person

I drove 5 hours back to LA from visiting my sister in Mariposa and went straight to a commercial audition. As soon as I got off the 101, the anxiety I had left… Continue reading

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Conor Oberst’s Rape Accuser Said “It Was A Goof!”

Just kidding, but how hilarious would it be if she actually said that? “Hey Melissa, who the fuck is Conor Oberst?” said no one. He’s the singer from Bright Eyes who was accused… Continue reading

Impressions of 90s TV Stars!

Clearly I have a natural talent:        

I took a pregnancy test!

Crippling anxiety and panic that you may have a creature growing inside of you is fun!!!  

Real Men Don’t Exist, Well, At Least Not In LA…

New post for Lady Clever: REMEMBER that scene from Adventures in Babysitting where the gang had to pick up their car at Dawson’s garage?  I don’t know if it’s possible to be in love… Continue reading

Dear Ok Computer, I Wish I Had Written You

I read an essay for the LA Women of Letters show at The Mint.  The notes were to write a letter to something you wish you had written.  I chose my favorite album… Continue reading

Depression Is The Worst

Three weeks ago I had a routine appointment with my psychiatrist. I’ve been taking Wellbutrin and Lexapro for about a year, and I told him I was sick of feeling tired in the… Continue reading

I write for Lady Clever now!

Super excited to be contributing to Lady Clever.  Lots of funny/smart women talking about things.  My first post is about a sexting doctor: A few years ago I received a text that said,… Continue reading

Maybe I Should Be Dating Younger Guys?

If you’ve read anything of mine you know that I’ve only dated older guys since forever.  I’ve just assumed that they’re smarter, wiser, and more stable than younger dudes. HAHA YEAH RIGHT.  I… Continue reading

I’m in a music videooooooo!

I’m in the new Foster the People music video for “Best Friend” eating models!  I play a runway model who is insecure about my looks, and I’ve discovered that if I eat younger… Continue reading

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