Delivering A Cat To Jane

“Say goodbye to Asa,” I held my cat and faced her towards her best friend of six years. When splitting up cats that grew up together, you have to make sure the cat staying sees the other cat leave, otherwise they’ll be confused and look for the other cat. Terribly sad, I know, but I learned … Continue reading “Delivering A Cat To Jane”

The thing that helped me conquer my social anxiety

(Originally appeared on HelloGiggles) I started playing softball when I was seven. For the next decade, not a single month passed without sports being a huge part of my life. At eighteen, I auto-crossed my car because it was the only legal way to drive like I was in NASCAR. I’m very competitive with most things. … Continue reading “The thing that helped me conquer my social anxiety”

Rolling Stone – Lucha Underground Wrestling

I photographed wrestlers for an article about Robert Rodriguez’s wrestling show Lucha Underground on the El Rey Network. During the show, a wrestler named Vampiro broke a long fluorescent tube light over Pentagon Jr’s head, and shards of glass went flying into the audience, barely missing a young girl’s face. She started to cry hysterically and … Continue reading “Rolling Stone – Lucha Underground Wrestling”

Shut The Fuck Up And Let Me Help You

“This is what happens when you don’t let me see my cat.” Jane pulls back her hospital bracelet to reveal two giant scars on her wrist. I cringe and look at the nurse. She doesn’t react, but instead slides a piece of paper over and asks me to sign. The man working the front desk … Continue reading “Shut The Fuck Up And Let Me Help You”

Standing up for the “crazy cat lady” in this age of progression

(This article originally appeared on Hello Giggles) The cat lady: lonely, mid-thirties, has two or more cats, at least one cat-themed item of clothing, and spends a lot of time reading about cats’ behavioral patterns online. Did you know if a cat’s tail is shaped like a question mark they want to play with you? … Continue reading “Standing up for the “crazy cat lady” in this age of progression”

Through The (Bulletproof) Looking Glass – My First Jail Visit

“On a scale of 1-10 how bad is the Lynwood jail?” “6,” texted my lawyer friend. A stream of unfortunate events involving drugs, alcohol, and domestic violence ended with my friend being arrested and put in jail two weeks ago. She is the furthest thing from a criminal, but with the way her life has … Continue reading “Through The (Bulletproof) Looking Glass – My First Jail Visit”

Comment Sections: Where Humanity Is Lost

Moderate them or get rid of them. It’s the perfect environment for stupidity to flourish. It lacks any civil discussions or rational debate. It can raise your blood pressure or ruin your day and make you say, “Fuck you” aloud to no one but your cat peacefully sleeping on your lap. It’s full of anonymous … Continue reading “Comment Sections: Where Humanity Is Lost”

The Finish Line: My Racecar Days In Kalamazoo

My first car was a stick-shift. I learned to drive that thing within the first hour of getting it. I loved blasting my Wu-Tang Forever CD and pretending I was a racecar driver through the desolate streets of Kalamazoo, Michigan. There’s nothing more frightening than a 16-year-old with a new driver’s license and love of … Continue reading “The Finish Line: My Racecar Days In Kalamazoo”

I Want My Best Friend Back (Part 3)

(This essay originally appeared on Flip Collective) *** A month passed and things were starting to calm down. I packed up our Koreatown apartment and brought Jane her things. It was almost as moving out of our apartment cured Jane. My sister was very optimistic. She started to see improvement in Jane in the following … Continue reading “I Want My Best Friend Back (Part 3)”

I Want My Best Friend Back (Part 2)

(Originally appeared on Flip Collective) *** Jane was my roommate, but more importantly—she’s been my best friend for 16 years. She started drinking heavily shortly after she met Ron in 2011. For the first few months, Ron was suave and charming. He sent her flowers and bought her fancy dinners. He convinced her to quit … Continue reading “I Want My Best Friend Back (Part 2)”

I Want My Best Friend Back (Part 1)

Originally posted on FlipCollective The 101 Freeway. Bad traffic. On the radio, the quiet hum of NPR’s All Things Considered talking about kids eating laundry pods and getting sick, because kids are idiots. My best friend, Jane, half-asleep/half-passed-out on her pillow. We’re driving to Temecula. Until now, Temecula is only significant as the name of … Continue reading “I Want My Best Friend Back (Part 1)”

It’s Time To Burn Your Bras Again

(Originally posted on The Style Con) I always thought bras were meant to keep breasts perky while we age. I honestly don’t really need to wear a bra, but I assume wearing one is better than not wearing one. A guy once said to me, “Why do you always wear a bra? You look hot … Continue reading “It’s Time To Burn Your Bras Again”

It’s Hard To Be Interesting When You’re Not Miserable

(Original article posted on The Style Con) The greatest artists in the world were clinically depressed: Picasso conceived an entire collection of artwork around his sadness; his “Blue Period” was paintings of miserable people and prostitutes. Kafka was suicidal while writing The Metamorphosis, and Bukowski was such a miserable alcoholic he couldn’t help but write about … Continue reading “It’s Hard To Be Interesting When You’re Not Miserable”

A man cheated on his wife with me… and she wrote a book about it.

I was 22—fresh out of the Midwest living in LA, optimistic as hell, and still had my lip pierced. The first job I had here was at a camera store. It was was pretty shitty, but I got to meet Danica McKellar (Winnie Cooper) and oddly enough the man my high school was named after, … Continue reading “A man cheated on his wife with me… and she wrote a book about it.”

So… Birth Control Makes You Attracted To Feminine Men

(New post for Lady Clever🙂 I’VE BEEN ON and off (mostly on) birth control pills since I was 18. Preventing unwanted pregnancy, although important, was not the main reason I started taking them. I had cramps that felt like the baby alien from Species was trying to crawl out of my stomach. (read more)   … Continue reading “So… Birth Control Makes You Attracted To Feminine Men”

I’d Rather Get To Know You In Person

I drove 5 hours back to LA from visiting my sister in Mariposa and went straight to a commercial audition. As soon as I got off the 101, the anxiety I had left behind immediately returned and I could feel my face getting warm and my eyes getting wet. The traffic and unnecessary honking from … Continue reading “I’d Rather Get To Know You In Person”

Conor Oberst’s Rape Accuser Said “It Was A Goof!”

Just kidding, but how hilarious would it be if she actually said that? “Hey Melissa, who the fuck is Conor Oberst?” said no one. He’s the singer from Bright Eyes who was accused of raping a 16 year old girl.  Joanie Faircloth, now 27, left a series of comments on an xoJane article claiming Conor … Continue reading “Conor Oberst’s Rape Accuser Said “It Was A Goof!””