I’m in the new Foster the People music video for “Best Friend” eating models! I play a runway model who is insecure about my looks, and I’ve discovered that if I eat younger models I can stay young and pretty by absorbing their beauty.… Read more
Tag: Modeling Stories
Auditioning To Play A Young Mom Made Me Horrified To Have Children
(Originally posted on XoJane)
I’ve been to my share of “young mom” commercial auditions in the past year, but have yet to book one. I’m in that weird age group where I’m slightly too young looking to be considered a “yogurt-loving-mom” but still too old to be an “attractive hot model.” My agent sends me on the “mom” auditions because I’d rather get lucky at a Pampers audition than have to dance in front of a room full Rockstar Energy Drink CEOs all named “Ryder” while wearing a bikini at a “pool party.”
Yesterday I had an audition to play a “cool ex-hipster kind of mom” for a commercial.… Read more
I Had Pink Eye During Fashion Week
I Got Fired From A Modeling Job For Having Thighs
Most of my income from modeling comes from showrooms.
I had no idea they even existed until I booked my first job the same day I signed with my New York agency. After a few years of being a showroom model, it has become sort of like a day job.… Read more
Hot Girl #2
I wrote an essay for Aeon about my life as a model.
Just Another Few Months
I remember reading Joan Didion’s Goodbye To All That essay about New York City before I even left Michigan. Eight years later I understand it completely.
One of my favorite quotes from it:
“…it never occurred to me that I was living a real life there.… Read more
You are NOT selling your arms, you are selling the clothes!
I should probably be in LA right now going on commercial auditions and working on writing submissions for those shows that seem like they’ll never hire me, but I’m in New York. My bank account needs me to be here. It’s lovely as shit today.… Read more
It’s Really F***ing Hot in NYC
I switched birth control pills a few weeks ago to a brand that my insurance covers because I’m sick of paying $100 a month to not have children. I already get super emotional the week I’m off the pills, but switching to different ones made me extra super woman-y. … Read more
This is what I do when I work…
Regis shoot I did in Manchester in April. Looooots of sitting around and not saying anything.… Read more
NYC, London, Manchester, LA
I’ve been trying to not be a model for a while, but it’s addicting. I feel like shit most of the time when I’m not booking jobs, but then a job comes along that pays my rent for a few months. … Read more
Your portfolio is tacky and your skin sucks.
I woke up this morning- EARLY this morning at 4am because my shit fuck head of a neighbor was up doing drugs and playing the drums. I called the police. Which is funny because the police were here two days ago to arrest Mark for threating a girl who lives in the building next to us. … Read more
I’m in London and I love it
http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/hey-everyone-im-in-london
I’ve been in England for a week – most of which I’ve unfortunately spent drenched in my own jetlag sweats, vomiting expired hazelnut yoghurt into bidets. Other than that blip, and the fact that the combination of bidets and poor nail maintenance is something that the people on the mainland seem overly happy to bear, I love Europe.… Read more
I was so close to booking a pregnancy test commercial in Prague.
http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/im-pregnant-and-im-going-to-prague
Last week I had an audition for a pregnancy test commercial. Initially I was about as thrilled as I would have been had I found out that another human being was swimming around in all the beer and anxiety in my gut.… Read more
Being lonely on set is very common…
http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/bored-out-of-my-mind-at-sony-studios
Every time my phone rings and I see it’s my agent or manager, I automatically think they are calling to reprimand me about some kind of un-PC tweet I might have thrown at the world – like the time I tweeted about how I wanted to kill myself after an audition, for instance.… Read more
Bikini Auditions, ugh…
Click pic for column on VICE website
I had an audition for a beer commercial yesterday. I only really showed up on the off-chance they might have been filming it in a palace in Tobago made out of diamonds and filled with innumerable birds of paradise, but it turned out to be the regular kind where a racially diverse group of attractive college kids are partying like they just discovered cocaine.… Read more
Fuck Ever Getting Old – Young Mom Auditions
Click pic for column on VICE
I always imagined it would be during a life-changing relationship that I’d have the epiphany I was ready to be a mother. Apparently last week my booker decided to go ahead and make that decision for me.… Read more
Everyone in My Hometown Thinks I’m a Superstar
Click pic for column on VICE website.
As much as every smug fuck with a blow out in Whole Foods likes to pretend they’re a native New Yorker, no one really comes from Manhattan or downtown LA. Sorry to everyone out there who thinks the skyscrapers are where they put all the Goodfellas and Wanderers when they escape their lives of street crime and make it big, but these places are actually just inhabited by the most rich and attractive people from the small, shitty nowhere towns littered across North America.… Read more
Backstage Bulimia
I’m in an Italian designer’s showroom sitting on a cold cement floor at my 13th and last casting of the day. Across from me is a model who doesn’t look a day over 15. She’s reading Catcher in the Rye.… Read more
Fashion Week Castings
Unless you are one of the top 100 models in the world, your payment for a fashion show is equivalent to a mediocre stripper’s tips on a Monday night. Sometimes you don’t get paid actual money at all. “Trade” is the main source of currency during Fashion Week.… Read more
I’m Drowning in Bird Shit and Self Pity
I’m a shitty model. I book the shitty jobs. I’ll occasionally book a huge print ad that supplies me with enough money to support my coke habit for at least a few months. I’m kidding of course. My salary disappears into designer clothes and therapist appointments.… Read more